Back to the Desk Humor page.

THE disclaimer collection

After some extensive research, the Desk believes that THIS PAGE is the Oldest and Largest collection of its type now on the web. It now contains about 600 entries (over 5000 words not counting the intro!) and takes about 14 pages to print out... AND the collection includes over two dozen images on the THREE picture pages!!! -enjoy, Dr. Leftover
A look at Why the Desk did this. And the NEW PHOTO PAGE! to PROVE you can't make some of these up. You HAVE GOT TO See These to appreciate the collection!

Disclaimer Photo Collection Page 2 and Page 3

The NEW Public Utility Warning pic page
The NYC Special Edition Warnings and Disclaimers Photo Page, and article.

Browser Hints: For Easier Reading In Firefox Go to VIEW, Text Size and click 'increase' once or in Opera- VIEW, Zoom, and click a larger percentage. thank you

HTML presentation is ©00 - 08 The Media Desk
The information presented is believed to be in the public domain, see below.


HAS BEEN UPDATED Feb/08


READ ALL DISCLAIMERS AND
WARNINGS BEFORE USE.

Security Device Enclosed

No virus found in this outgoing message.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Has not been approved for use in Veteran's Administration Facilities. Information Previously Displayed is No Longer Valid.

CAUTION: Carefully read other Cautions on side panel

All bills are subject to electronic approval,
we apologize for any for any inconvenience.

This information collection meets the requirements of 44 U.S.C. §3507, as amended by section 2 of the Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995.

Because of quality issues, we have no bananas today.

Habitat Restoration in Progress.

This computer is unavailable. We work in teams of two so feel free to select another computer.
Your kind consideration is very much appreciated. Thanks!

GIFT CARD ENCLOSED.

           Handle with extreme care. Beware of Dog. Follow instructions carefully, if you cannot read English call below Toll Free number for translation. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. US Mail only. Care should be taken when lifting this product. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. List each check separately by bank number. Fight card subject to change. Batteries not included. No miniskirts on dance floor. Contents may settle during shipment. If this is an emergency hang up and dial 9-1-1.

           Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Remove before driving. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Support bottom of pan. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do Not Enter if under 21. Low Flying Aircraft. If box perforation is broken, do not use, contact retailer. Your number is 61 Please place at the edge of table. Gateway Timeout: The proxy server did not receive a timely response from the upstream server. The City of Chicago Welcomes You.

           Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Toxic to housepets. Times approximate. ATTENTION The Load Terminals Under This Label Are For Feeding Additional Recepticals; Miswiring can leave this outlet without ground fault protection. Beware of Jet Blast, Propellers and Rotors. Allergen Information: produced in a facility that uses peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, milk and shellfish. Both 'A' and 'B' are active.

           User account may not be transferred without notifying Sysop. Copyright secured. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. This call may be monitored for quality control or customer service training purposes. Closed on Jewish Holy Days. Ohio law requires valuables be deposited in safety deposit boxes. If seal is broken, do not accept merchandise, WARNING.

For even more delicious this drink chill before drinking. Do not swallow the opener. Please discard the opener after opening the bottle. Please do not allow small children to open the bottle. Adults should open the bottle for small children. Parental supervision is advised for small children. Do not try to remove the marble from the bottle to avoid injury. Do not freeze or store in direct sunlight, such as in cars where temperature becomes extremely high. Do not consume if top marble is broken, dropped, or missing.

           No Horse Hitching. Overhead Utilities. Confined Space, area contract permit only. Lights on When Raining. Once sold out, items advertised as "limited quantity", closeouts, or other items no longer available from our vendors cannot be placed on back order. No stopping on bridge. Please notify management if this restroom needs attention. Move damaged vehicles to shoulder if no serious injury. This part not used. "The moving walkway is ending." Notice: this article meets flammability requirements of California Bureau of Home Furnishings flammability technical bulletin 117. Care should be exercised near open flame or with burning cigarettes. ERUPTION Pro 10.6® is not capable of forecasting a supervolcano to erupt. For use by government and educational institutions only, not for resale. Use slice marks for 1/4 pound patties. Please act responsibility before copying anything onto a disc, please be sure you are not violating copyright laws.

PLEASE HANG ON REAR VIEW MIRROR
WITH NUMBER FACING FRONT. Thank You

           Warning: Warranty void if any seal, label or screw is removed. Play from the bottom. Please use cel phones outside. For physician use only, not for patient use. Do not use this product if you suffer from any sensory deficiencies -or- you have any specific health concerns that will limit your ability to use this back massager, please see attached caution and warning booklet for more detailed information. Pull down, push together. If you would prefer a medical assistant present during your exam please ask. Peel off protective sheet before using. If you are greeting arriving passengers, please do not wait beyond this point. Ticket or pass required before boarding train. Thank you for not smoking within 25 feet of any building entrance. Keyboard Assembled in China.

I authorize conversion of my check to draft or Electronic Funds Transfer (EFT) and the debiting of my account for payment of the sale amount. I expressly confirm that I have seen and read the return check fee point-of-sale signage. If the draft or EFT returns unpaid, I agree to pay my check plus all applicable fees as stated on point of sale signage or the maximum fee allowed by state law by EFT(s) or debit(s) to my account.

           Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Not for export. This fax is intended for the addressee only, if it was received in error, please call the above number. Check for overhead lines before raising boom. Vehicle in tow. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Airbag discharge may render vehicle undrivable. Present Coupon Before Ordering, not valid with other offers. For off-road use only. All winnings subject to taxes. Not labeled for resale. Alarm will sound when tank is full, do not overfill. Allergy Warning: This product was processed in a plant that processes tree nuts, some traces of nuts and nut dust may be present in product. Report disabled vehicles 1-877-7-PATROL. No Horses allowed in POW camp.

            Contents were accurate at time of publication, some information may have since been updated.

FOR HEAT RETAINING CORRUGATED CARDBOARD TECHNOLOGY TO FUNCTION PROPERLY, CLOSE TAB.

           As seen on TV. Turn lane only. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. No Nudity on beach or in pool. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Our flight attendants are professionals, please treat them as such. Thin Ice, no ice fishing or skating. Colors may, in time, fade. Not produced in or endorsed by the State of California, it's agencies, or departments. Contains the forms which you need to fill out prior to shipment of this package. Please rotate stock, sell only fresh merchandise. Post no bills. Error 500, data corruption, please notify your system administrator. Skateboards Prohibited. Ask for free bra fitting. Not a Toy. This map complies with national map accuracy standards. CAUTION: this beverage is extremely hot, enjoy it with care.
           Suitable for people with diabetes. This card is for informational purposes only, this is not your actual insurance identification card. Prolonged sun exposure will cause color fade and/or damage material. Notice of Recall: return to point of purchase for refund or store credit. Do not use if inner wrapper has been removed or damaged. Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients, please check the addresses and resend. Push with thumb, insert straw. Caution: Uncoil Before Using "Attention: Etendre Completement LeCordon". Please respect the memorial- No Wading No Coins. Description and Remarks fields can have at most 80 characters. Not intended for outdoor use. Left turn watch for train. Motorcycles burn headlights. This is not a gambling site. Rechargeable Batteries Only. Ashtray on opposite lavatory. Do Not Step Out Of This Area. Danger, do not enter elevator shaft.

Discard by adult. Take out for normal play mode.

The SYSTEM shall not enter an Infinite Processing Loop.
SERVING NOTE FOR SMALL CHILDREN: Slice the hot dog lengthwise and then cut the pieces across and at an angle so they are less likely to cause a child to choke.
Warning: Blazin' Sauce may irritate eyes or skin! Wash with large amounts of water!

           Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox, postage guaranteed. You must wear undergarments to try on clothes. Edited for television. Microwave in use. Keep cool; process promptly. Minors not admitted. Keep seatbelt fastened while plane is in air. For handicapped assistance dial 7. Use of this product may cause a temporary discoloring of your teeth. List was current at time of printing. Closed Course, Professional Driver. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. No Parking, Fire Lane Only.

Note 1: This is an automated message. Please do not reply to this email. Please do not reply to this email, and do not forward to zfax-dev. Your reply to zfax-dev or any other zfax or Metro address, will not reach the fax sender. If you want to contact the fax sender for confirmation or other questions etc., please call the fax sender or contact them through other means.
Note 2: If this is a spam marketing fax from an 'unknown' number, ignore/delete it.
Note 3: If this is a spam marketing fax from a 'valid/known' number, please forward this email to zfax-dev@ blank .com with word 'SPAM' in the subject line and zFax application team will research this fax and take appropriate action to block such faxes.

           Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Machine wash gentle cycle- cold water, dry flat. All Times Eastern. Please remove this stick used for packing purpose only. Do Not lift table with stirrups. Do not eat cellophane wrapper. The document in this frame cannot be printed as laid out, this frame will be printed separately. Police dog inside.

IMPORTANT! You Must Charge Your Product Prior To Use!

Allergen Statement: This product is produced in a facility that also produces seasoned pork rinds that contain wheat and soy.

           Not the Beatles. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. $500 penalty for private use. All photographs taken prior to 1996. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. AMTRAK does not maintain this station, please contact station manager with concerns. Open windows can be hazerdous, screen will not prevent child from falling through open window. This vehicle is not licensed for public roads, Operate on Winterthur property only. NOTE: Grounding reliability can only be achieved if this equipment is connected to an equivalent receptacle marked "HOSPITAL GRADE." Lights Flash when steam covers road, use headlights. Please no cash back from debit cards before 12 noon. Caution, toasted subs may be extremely hot.

           Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Employee entrance only. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Your ISP may not be held responsible for lost data or inconvenience due to server malfunctions. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Do not write below this line. Place stamp here. TUNNEL AHEAD. Avoid exposure to magnetic fields. Early Bird Special for Dine-In Only. Shelves set, Do Not take any. For your safety, please allow our staff to restrain your animal during examination. This seat not to be occupied while vehicle is in motion. Please do not knock on this door. Approved for water use only, do not refill with any other liquid. Not for rail use. Color develops before fully brewed.

THIS LETTER WAS SENT BY AN INMATE WHO IS IN A STATE PRISON. THE STATE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEBTS INCURRED OR FOR THE CONTENTS OF THE LETTER.
           Avoid contact with skin. Deer tag void if removed from license. Sanitized for your protection. The Phone Company is not responsible for lost or misdirected voice mail messages. Hotel Staff Only. Persons and events depicted are entirely fictional, and any similarity to persons or events, living or deceased, is purely coincidental. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Safe for Septic Systems. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. No humans were harmed or even used in the creation of this page. Caution: Contains hot oil and steam. NO EQUIPMENT GROUND. Please keep pets on leash. No Active Scripting. This website is governed by Dutch law. Package not for use in microwave oven. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - small sparts, not for children under 3 years. CAUTION: Do not use rechargeable batteries, do not dispose of batteries in fire, batteries may explode or leak.

EMERGENCY FIRE EXIT ONLY Violators will be prosecuted Punishable by up to one year in jail and $4,000 in fines. LA SALIDA DE FUEGO DE EMERGENCIA SOLAMENTE Violadores estara juzgado punible por hasta un ano en carcel Y $4,000 en multas.
CAUTION This blade was shipped upside down. It is necessary to turn blade over before installation.

           Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. The white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only. Employees and their families are not eligible. Participating United Way Affiliate Agency. For refunds contact floor manager. WARNING: JET INTAKE. The Author is not responsible for any mental distress caused. Use safety chains. Use under adult supervision. DANGER: Keep Away. Indiana/Vermont Residential Customers Only. For a full selection of our bakery products please visit your grocer's bakery section. Blacksheep note: Watch out for and avoid full scale traffic.
           Never allow dead batteries to remain in dispenser as possible damage to dispenser may result. Change batteries promptly after 30 or 60 day service life.

           Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Seatbelts must be worn when vehicle is in motion. You must be present to win. Smoking allowed only in designated areas. No passes accepted for this engagement. The City of Pittsburgh in no way endorses or promotes this product. We prosecute trespassers. No surfing when lifeguards are not on duty. Participants must remain clothed. Se Habla Espanol. Not a birth control device. After opening, can edges may be sharp. Contains raw eggs. Patent applied for. All prizes will be awarded. Tour Buses Welcome.

           Area under Electronic Surveillance. Identification for purposes of Federation Business. Event begins at noon, weather permitting. DANGER; Electrical cords may be hazardous. Not certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. Do not use for child control. Please excuse city water color. Pesticide Application: Keep children and pets off. Look for power cables here. Caution: Coffee and other hot drinks are served Very Hot! This product is intended as a packaging product only, please reuse or dispose of properly, do not use as a pillow, toy or flotation device, caution; keep away from small children. Please turn off plasma display when not in use.

-Your account is not authorized to perform the requested function.-

Attending the wrong class all semester, even if you earn an "A" may result in an "F."

Do not apply around eyes, if product gets in eyes, rinse immediately with clean warm water, WARNING THIS IS NOT A FOOD, DO NOT EAT.

            BUMP slow down. Do Not remove from display. Please no Loitering, skateboarding, roller blades on premises. Caution: Stability Hazard- T handle must be in place and tightened before using machine. To remove tire, line red arrow up with red line on hub. Remove perfed section for display. No swimming Do Not Dive. Seasick Bags: Please use bags, not sink. New Buyers must contact co-op before purchase. End of Ramp. No Active Scripting. Please do not pour any chemicals down the sink. Caution ground under repair, please watch your step. Press spoon at seam until can pops open. There was a problem with your request, please try again.

"Please help us preserve the beauty of this fountain area. This area is monitored by video surveillance.
Anyone caught tampering with the fountain will be prosecuted."

PLEASE DO NOT ABUSE EQUIPMENT!

           Attention: This container may contain sharp hooks. No drinking of beer or alcohol in this restroom. Please do not speak to the operator while the car is moving. Limit of two family/visitors per patient in treatment area. Do Not Push Door. Caution: Frequent Stops. This lane, EZ Pass or Cash. Absolutely NO bobtail parking. Stop Removed, proceed with caution. Special cleaning wash hands with soap and water. Moisten needle before inserting. Clearance at line: 11' 10". This property is under video surveillance by day/night cameras, all activity is being recorded. Danger, cross tracks only at crosswalk. Freeze before using.

******* WARNING *******
Access to this computer system and associated network, computer resources, or data is restricted to those authorized by Verizon. This computer and related networks, resources or data may only be used for authorized business purposes of Verizon. Use by unauthorized individuals or unauthorized purposes is a violation of Federal and/or State law.

The recommended range for BMI may not apply to athletes with extremely muscular builds or to people with extremely little muscle mass, such as the elderly. The weight score is based on BMI and may also be overestimated or underestimated for these groups.

           No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. Contest may end without warning or notification. No returns unless defective. Remove before flight. Mail Delivery Subsystem Message, your message cannot be sent, server returned permanent errors, port 25 access denied. Please Recycle This Paperboard Container. This material is not for use in children's sleepwear. Warning- Slippery, Please Use Handrail. Do not apply vibrators to any part of car except brackets on frame rails. Keep 2 dots apart. Caution- you must walk your bikes, scooters and skateboards downhill. Please stand behind yellow line. Sealed for your protection. 14th Street closed ahead, local traffic find alternative route.

CAUTION: Hydrogen Exhaust. No Flame Allowed.

"If you tent camp, bring extra-long stakes and mosquito repellent."

           Push to operate. DANGER: High voltage overhead. Not responsible for well done steaks. Items on this table are not winter hardy. Do not sit or stand. Sorry no refills on milk. Danger Waterfall. WARNING: contents under pressure, cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury, point away from face and people, especially while opening. Do not put in mouth. Not recommended for children under 8 years of age. Closed Sunday. Not for food use, for decorative purpose only. Pat Pending. Professional Certification does not imply Professional License. Do not leave ticket in vehicle. Needs no chill. WARNING: Use "Drip Loop", See IMPORTANT ELECTRICAL SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS enclosed with filter READ, FOLLOW AND SAVE INSTRUCTIONS, If lost send self-addressed envelope. Do not leave dog unattended while chewing a treat or toy.

[Use only close adult supervision. For outdoor use only. Do not hold in hand. Place on hard open surface. Light fuse and get away. Do not throw. Do not use in congested place or close to flammable material. This bag designed to be sold as a unit. If broken, each piece must have a label attached with warning and instruction.]

           Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. If you know your party's extension you may dial it now. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Not a life saving device. Take with food or drink. Replace with same type bulb. Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure. Lane ends 500 ft. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. No Cigar Smoking. The Shelter does not sanction any of the religious services listed. Check here if tax deductible. All sexual acts are simulated. Some equipment shown is optional. Reserved for Employee of the Month. Price does not include taxes. This unit was tested Year 2000 Compliant. For deposit only. No Canadian coins. Height restricted ride. Check Headlights. Descriptions are not indicitive of model's actual personalities or behaviors. Please return to 60 degrees when leaving. Remove Before Use. Allergen Hazard. No bank funds are kept in this office. A quality product of Scotland.

The load capacity of your motor home is designed by weight, not volume, so you cannot necessarily use all available space when loading your motor home. Not all features mentioned are available on all floorplans.

You may not use the Yahoo! Software to operate nuclear facilities, life support, or other mission critical application where human life or property may be at stake. You understand that the Yahoo! Software is not designed for such purposes and that its failure in such cases could lead to death, personal injury, or severe property or environmental damage for which Yahoo! is not responsible.

Moving tip #48: Packing tape should not be used for painful practical jokes.
ATTENTION HUNTERS This Area (area D) is closed to all hunting for the remainder of the 2004-2005 hunting season, starting 12/30/04. Any questions, please contact the park office.

           Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No soliciting or panhandling. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Last exit before toll. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. Virus detected, action halted. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Hunt Safely, unload gun before crossing fences. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Fishing and Crabbing from bridge prohibited. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No prospecting. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Report Aggressive Drivers- dial 911. Caution: Load Bearing Wall. DO NOT take with antacids. Bicycles Prohibited. Return for postage- stamps void if coated, covered or defaced. Anyone disturbing the family environment will be removed from the park without refund.

Warning: Do not spray flammable, caustic, corrosive, heated or self-heating solutions with this sprayer; read the Instruction Manual completely before using.
WARNING! Always Use Triggers To Open Rings Or Damage May Result #118668.
Permanent on most surfaces. Quick drying. Recap when not in use. Do not shake. Not for letter writing or cloth. Nontoxic, conforms to ASTM D-4236. Made in U.S.A.

           Package sold by weight, not volume. No diving. Your mileage may vary. Not a flying toy. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Prostitution Laws Strictly Enforced. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Not authorized for use as critical components in life support devices or systems. Not Kosher, contains pork by-products. Fire Door, do not block. This product may stain, avoid contact with clothing, furniture and other stuff. Not made with Coca-Cola or Coca-Cola syrup base, trademarked name used for taste comparison only. Contains material not suited to sensitive viewers, discretion adviced. TICK ALERT! Postcard, do not attempt to open. Attention: for your safety please check all firearms at the greeter's desk before entering.

NO 911 OR EMERGENCY SERVICE. You acknowledge and understand that Yahoo! does NOT currently allow you to access any 911 or similar emergency services (no traditional 911, E911, or similar access to emergency services). You should always have an alternative means of accessing 911 or similar emergency services. Please inform others who use your Yahoo! Messenger and devices used to access Yahoo! Messenger that they must access these numbers through a traditional landline or mobile phone. Yahoo! Messenger is not intended to replace your primary phone service, such as traditional landline or mobile phone.

           Your item must not contain any dangerous article prohibited by postal regulations. Votre envol no dolt contenir aucun objet dangereux interdit par la reglementation postale

This Flavor Is Not Sold To Any Retailer As A Store Brand

           The security deposit rules discussed in this pamphlet apply only to desposits paid pursuant to written or oral rental agreements entered into after July 18, 1996. Certain states outlaw the use of scanners in an automobile. Our mail list is private, we do not release information to anyone. Tax Document, Do NOT Destroy. Be sure to finish your medication, because if you quit too soon your infection my return. Due to HIPPA regulations, we cannot wait on anyone while they are on a Cel Phone.

Size 2, 310mm x 230mm x 120mm, Available in 5 sizes- at all Singapore Post branches.

Disclaimer: The Department of Entomology at Iowa State University is not responsible for gastric distress, allergic reactions, feelings of repulsion, or other problems resulting from the ingestion of foods represented on these pages. (insects as food)

POISON IVY. Contact with this plant may cause severe skin inflamation, itching, and water blisters. Found throughout the area, you may see it in shrub or vine forms. Altough there are many variations to poison ivy leaves, all have three leaflets. By staying on the trail, you should be able to avoid contact.
Poison ivy does have its benefits. Although its white berries are as dangerous as the rest of the plant for people, they are enjoyed by many types of wildlife as a winter food.

           Unacceptable Response: When the response to a problem is unacceptable or inadequate, then it is appropriate to escalate the problem.

            Warning: Local Noise Ordinance prohibits loud music or loud noise, violators will be fined. Vendor deliveries not accepted during lunch hours. Notice, no loitering permitted. Shop use only Do Not Remove. Caution, cutting edge is sharp. Keep from freezing. Decorative Door Pull Packaged Inside Mailbox. Not for use in Cyprus. Must be employed at the end of the month to qualify for bonus. Please do not feed fingers to animals.

           Local traffic only. Model release on file with publisher. In the unlikely event of an emergency, participants may be liable for any rescue or evacuation costs incurred either on their behalf or as a result of their actions. Post office will not deliver without postage. Do not inflate indoors. No schedule changes without prior management approval. Do not attempt replace batteries while toy is in use. No animals were injured in the production of this video. Area code has changed, please contact Phone Company for correct dialing information. Please respect our religious ideals; no photography of individuals is allowed. No names were harmed in the writing of this article. Limit one free trial per individual. Radar data temporarily unavailable for this site. TO OPEN: Lift tab and pull.

FEEDING INSTRUCTIONS: Feed as a chew and always feed chews responsibly.
WATER: Provide fresh water in a clean bowl for your dog daily.
NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION
We recommend washing hands after handling all pet chews.

This user's profile has been temporarily disabled for special maintenance. The profile will be available again shortly. Sorry for the inconvenience.

           THE TWO PASSWORDS ARE NOT IDENTICAL. Notice; service dispatch may incur billable charges even if no trouble is found. Bridge subject to crosswinds. Use this product as a food supplement only, do not use for weight reduction. Limit one per family or address. Duplicate requests will constitute fraud. Base Personnel Only. For an English version of this page click HERE. If you do not know where your vagina is, please use a mirror or consult with your doctor. These are wild animals, please remain in your car for your own safety. Campsite facilities for use of registered guests only. Contains a full days supply of vitamin C.
You are not allowed to post to this mailing list, and your message has been automatically rejected. If you think that your messages are being rejected in error, contact the mailing list owner at: members-owner@ deleted .com

            No Long Distance Calls are to be billed to this number. Adult Event, no one under 21 admitted, modest attire suggested but not required, no intoxicated individuals will be admitted, No Cel Phone Cameras Allowed. Whilst every effort has been made to ensure accuracy in this publication, the Wales Tourist Board can accept no liability whatsoever for any errors, inaccuracies or omissions or for any matter in any way connected with or arising out of the publication of the information. No electrons were injured in the production of this web site. Do not tease, feed, or otherwise provoke. This product contains a nonspillable battery. SWIPE CARD ON READER TO EXIT BUILDING. 100 Yard Hunting Zone Buffer. If found do NOT return to the USS ATHENA.

This image has been released into the public domain by the copyright holder, its copyright has expired, or it is ineligible for copyright. This applies worldwide.

           In certain states some of the above limitations may not apply to you. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise.

Cigar smoking is an adult custom: You must be 18 years of age or older to purchase cigars in all states in the U.S.A. except for the 3 states of Alabama, Alaska, and Utah, in which 19 years of age or older is required.

"Civil authorities have issued an immediate evacuation order for all of Connecticut, beginning at 2:10 p.m. and ending at 3:10 p.m."

This email and any attachments are classified Motorola Confidential and Proprietary unless marked otherwise.

       NOTICE:This product, when extremely cold, may stick to warm skin, lips, etc. Before eating, please briefly rub the product, WHILE STILL IN THE WRAPPER, between the palms of your hands to insure maximum enjoyment.

OFFICIAL U.S. GOVERNMENT SYSTEM FOR AUTHORIZED USE ONLY. DO NOT DISCUSS, ENTER, TRANSFER, PROCESS OR TRANSMIT CLASSIFIED/SENSITIVE NATIONAL SECURITY INFORMATION OF GREATER SENSITIVITY THAN THAT FOR WHICH THIS SYSTEM IS AUTHORIZED. USE OF THIS SYSTEM CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO SECURITY TESTING AND MONITORING. UNAUTHORIZED USE COULD RESULT IN CRIMINAL PROSECUTION.

A parked domain is a domain name that is pointed to the domain you place below as the master domain.

Chocolates must now be shipped via the "3 to 4 Business Days Delivery" option or a faster shipping method to prevent melting! At no extra charge, all meltable products are packaged with reusable cold ice gel packs for cooling purposes.

If you experience any technical problems and/or do not receive confirmation that your request has been completed online, please postal mail, phone or fax your request using the contact information listed above. Your request will be processed within 10 days of the receipt of your request.

BY LAW: You must offer this seat to the elderly or disabled.

For Non-Politics News, Please Scroll Down.

THIS SIDE DOWN

Nap Time: 12:25 - 2:00 PM

The remainder of this page is intentionally left blank.


end collection

[NOTE: The DISCLAIMER COLLECTION is not Original Material by the Desk. The Media Desk simply collects them and formats it for easier reading. As far as the DESK is concerned, this work is a collection of Public Domain information and is presented simply as entertainment. Please treat it as such. These disclaimer notices and warnings copied without permission from the author(s).
All identifying names and references are presented as found in the quote as listed. They are owned by their respective parties and not under the control of the Desk in any way. If the owners of such wish their identifying mark to be removed they should contact the owner of the Desk.
FURTHER NOTE: Some disclaimers contained misspellings or other errors. Some of those have been corrected for readability, others left as found. Presented for entertainment and enlightenment only. Thank you ]
Disclaimers collected, updated and modified by The Media Desk.

Back the the Desk Humor page at: www.themediadesk.com

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