From a Friend of the Desk

©2012 assigned to The Media Desk

To my brother, and-

More Thoughts of a Wandering Soul

Why am I here? What is the world coming to?

     Are humans herding animals?

     As I go thru my days I look around me and see how things are. It has been sometime since I have tried this. Over the past few years I have found myself trying to hold on to being middle class. But I have come to see this is not to be. For ours and the world’s economies is a mess. And the ones we turn to have answers. Look at us and want to show us how it happened and some ways to slow it down. But have little in the way of hope for those of us in the lower classes. And those who are in the upper class my not far to well in the long run. And with the great socialist experiment, was Russia basically treading water. And the European Union struggling to members afloat. What is the answer? Is it meant for our ways of life to fail? Or is it just something we didn’t see or want to see. That when things get so far this happens. When those few seem to control so much. And there is so many that feel that the way they are is the best. And one size fits all. Many being narrow minded in their ways. Not excepting change that most being realize must happen...
     I have gone from having a government job that was driving me nuts to now being just a little short of making that which to live on. When I got out of high school many years past I went from a job to the service, then into civil service. That after 25 yrs. cost me my first marriage, to now as I am finding out in one of the lower earning jobs out there. Trying to get back into a place for me and my family.
     The profession that I am now in is being asked for better and more from those in it. And only the companies benefit from this by charging more for us. And not sharing the fruits. And with the weakening of the unions. Most have little hope for the coming ????
     If you are older, the job market doesn’t look at you well. For younger and cheap is everywhere you look. I have to work to have money for gas to make it to work to just hold a little under water. I keep treading, hoping for some light. My wife who is the reason I keep going. Is waiting for disability to come, and has been waiting a few years. All the time not being able to find a job she can do. That will allow us to just live.
     At work I am faced with the results of post 9/11. For trying to check for ID at some places I work is met with all manner of objections. From legal to threats for doing a job. Most places want to know who they are dealing with. To feel that they will be paid for the services. That they will be safe and lawfully allowed to conduct business. But why are people so hard about this for in other places in the world more is asked for and noncompliance has a cost. And why I was taught to be proud of whom I am.
     The elections are at hand and I have never seen such lack of support for any one running. No seems to feel excited about the election at all. This is the bedrock of our country. And the rumblings of giving up the freedoms and rights we all seem to take so lightly. Both parties seem to be more divided. And ones is banking on old patterns to keep in and offers little hope for Amy real to the middle and poorer classes that they can helped. I am finding it hard to keep hope for me-

The above was unfinished... the below explains why. -Webmaster

[WEBMASTER'S NOTE: At this point, our friend 'Fred' relates events that are deeply personal, but also, very relatable to everybody over a certain age.
     Please accept this as what it is. Thank You]

1. Or it was my work week starting on 25 Oct 2012. While getting ready for work at my step-daughters house (my wife Linda sits with her dog and house). My step grandson tells me my phone is buzzing. Hate cell phones. Long for the old days at times. Miss phone tag. The ID says it was one of my daughters was calling. While trying to get back with her, my son calls at the same time. He tells me that my older brother Tom may have passed away today. I went to the floor, and stepped outside to get hold of what I was just told. I called my sister to find out and verify what had happened and when. Then I called my work to try to get coverage so I could be with family. They were able to have someone come and work for me but had to start the shift for only 30 minutes. Went to my mom’s house to be with my family. Felt a little out of sorts. Those there looked familiar somehow. Mom was doing well; I have found that older people understand this better than we do most times.
2. Sat in moms house for a while listening to what was talked about. Realized that I was not close to them. And looking at Facebook found out my niece got remarried and Tom gave her away. Also on Facebook read things from others that I didn’t know they could feel. Think it’s good in a way. But makes me feel more isolated. Don’t know if I was even close to them or others. But felt so alone last few years. Want so much to have a fair life with Linda. And be able to be in my grandkids lives more. But feel that I may not be able to. Being the way that I am. Not getting close to them. Or having this feeling of making choices to have them be less than I had hoped for.
3. Last few days been on auto pilot. Going thru life. Worrying more about Linda. What will happen if we can’t get a home of our own soon? Feel the economy real close last few years. Slipping further down. Look for a better job to get things right. Holding onto the dream or just hope is not easy. Looking at hurricane Sandy on TV, the talking heads saying how and what to do. And this is a super storm. And things are closed & boarded up, all over. The politicians can’t be seen not doing something. Not so close to an election. And with too many bad choices made on other storms + just can’t sit on the sidelines. Must look like I did this or that for you.
4. But behind the scenes the Front Line Responders, Volunteers hold the line. Enduring in long hours, cold bitter coffee, quick food. To protect the lives of those in need, without hesitation. Assisting in evacuations of areas most in danger. Even going back at times to try to convince those not heeding the warnings of danger to get to a safe place. But the responders know that those left. Will be on the list of those that need help after the storm hits and allows them to come back to see if they survived the event. The Responders will go back after these folks regardless of the risk, as long as they are able to. Power companies wait till the storm passes to go into action. Fixing outages and clearing debris. But this is life on Earth as we know it. For we have affected it. For we are part of its life as anything else. No matter what you call it .Earth is a planet wife life on it. And we are part of what the Earth is.
5. I sit at work at my non-essential job. Looking at the calm. After a day of non-stop rain and wind. Now rain but slight wind. Mild temperature, Erie clam. But calming to my soul. For the earth has to catch its breath before the storm moves on its path. Seeing what is around where I am working. The quiet due the storm is welcome, but unsettling as well. Mc Donald’s closed late or early yesterday. Traffic leading into Holloway Terrace all but nil. No locals moving around for profit or? Just quiet moderate wind with rain. The nearby Interstate light poles swaying with the wind and rain. I wonder has one ever fallen to any storm, anywhere.
6. A brief call to a friend to jump starts my head. So I will be able to do the rest of my shift. Talked of things old, now and some politics. Just to get my head back in the game. These shifts are getting tougher to do. As I get older. Don’t see how one of my co-workers with his advanced years is able to still do this type of work. For it is trying on me of late. But being one without much education. I do what job I have. I am trying to work on an online class .with hope of learning something more worthwhile to me in the job market.
7. But of that I see that as I was working for the state. The market advanced in areas that I am ill equipped to handle. For the consumer society that is the United States is. It has forgot what I thought was one of the core things in business. Don’t price yourself out of your own market. For if they can’t afford it, how will you make money. Something’s do cost a lot to make. But how big is their market. And if the lower and middle classes is to be viable. They need to be able to buy goods that they need. And see that their labor does count and is important to them and others.

8. Tom. My Brother:
        I will miss you. We will be less without you.
        We weren’t as close as I wanted to be. You lived your life on your terms; you were a good husband and father, a friend to many I know not of. All of us in your family have been enriched by knowing you and having you in our lives. In days to come we will share many fond memories of you. We will raise glasses and toast your life. My brother watches over us. For now you wait for us to join you in Heaven.

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