©03 Levite, The Media Desk
note: Scriptures quoted were ones she had listed in her Bible as her favorites.
Also, the background was one of her favorite colors. Thank you
Picture links will open in new window.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ...
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8: 28, 38 - 39
Friend, Daughter, Wife, Mother.
Secretary, Correctional Officer, Confidant.
Cancer Patient, Clinical Trial Volunteer, Survivor.
I set out to write my wife's real obituary and found myself at a total loss for words. Something I am not accustomed to. But then again, how do you boil down a person who was literally your 'other half' for eighteen years, aye, more, into a handful of words and a few pictures?
She was my ground-wire into reality. She reminded me that we need to take care of the here and now when I was off on some half-baked project or in the middle of a futuristic novel or something equally hair-brained. Miss was, in every sense of the Biblical wording, my helpmate.
She was mother and best friend to the girls. Raising them in the Word and with a fine sense of right and wrong and responsibility. Even at the end, she was involved with them, helping, advising, just being there.
Yes we had our differences. Our fights. Arguments. And all that. Every marriage that is truly a marriage has them. At least they had better. And Some of our blowups were memorable. As were most of the good times.
And it really is the good times you remember.
One of those good times is on the picture page, her posing with some critter or other at Disney World just a couple of months before the Cancer took her life.
In other articles and discussions here and there as The Media Desk I have actually cursed doctors for selling that most addicting of medical offerings- Hope.
[NOTE FROM EDITOR: a very verbose and nearly incoherent rant with several rancid comments about doctors, insurance companies, bill collectors, flesh eating bacteria, politicians, lawyers, werewolves, and other lower life forms have been hereby deleted and the following relevant quote from Second Timothy four has been inserted. Thank you]For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Tim 4: 6 - 8
But now, now, after she has run her race and gone on to her reward, I am starting to understand some of it. Even though this end may have been inevitable, there was some value to extending her life for us. To give us Time to tell her all those things that you want to tell someone. To buy her plastic rings out of gumball machines and share a picture of a Klingon Warrior going through a buffet line at a convention and watch her smile and laugh at it.
Yes even at the end she had good times. She had wanted to go to a Sci-Fi convention to see a couple from the USS RAVEN (IFT) get engaged. Even though she knew it would be too much travel and confusion for her, she talked about going until it was all too clear she simply could not do it.
Then she told me and the girls to go anyway, and take pictures for her.
We bought her a swan picture at the Farpoint Convention in Baltimore over Valentine's weekend. I got her a nice necklace. A TV star signed a picture for her. Farpoint turned into SnowPoint and the Blizzard of 2003 didn't want us to leave. But in the end shovels and strong coffee prevailed and we brought it all home to her. And then there were the heart balloons from the hotel that floated above her bed for that last week.
The last week of her life.
She lived her last days, weeks, months, to their fullest. We took the girls to Disney World. She went to a couple of Patricia's basketball games. She went out to the mall to do a bit of shopping even though it exhausted her. She visited with friends and family and then.
Then when her race was done.
With her family around her and at peace.
I told her I loved her, and that it was OK.
And she died a few minutes later.
Just like that.
Half an hour later her nurse from Delaware Hospice pronounced her dead and recorded the time on an official state paper. Her race, her life, was over.
"He is in the presence of the Lord, how I envy him."
It is not just a worn out cliché used far too often at times like this. She took part of me with her. Yet I have part of her here with me now. Even though she is gone, her body has been cremated per her wishes, she is here.
She told us she could see the other side in her last days. She SAW that it was better, she told us about it. She could talk to those that had gone on, and they were waiting for her.
And I believe her. Yes, I Believe Her. Not Past Tense.
If I said I had seen the other side, people would raise an eyebrow and smirk. After all, I cover Presidential elections, I study parapsychology, I write science fiction, I'm so seriously twisted Melissa said she didn't want to read anything I wrote because she didn't want to know me that well. Yet she knew me better than anyone else ever has. Better than anyone ever will. She WAS part of me. She is here now, telling me what to write, what NOT to write, what to go back and change.
She wasn't that dying cancer patient unable to move or even to swallow that last weekend of her mortal existence. She was, and is, one of the finest spirits God has ever blessed this world with.
And she lives on.
I thank the Lord I had the chance to not only know her, but to marry her.
For whatever else our lives together were... good times, bad times, working at the jail (she was a prison guard for five years), kids, cars, fires, illness, cops, trips, tea with the mayor of St John, New Brunswick, and all the rest.... I could not imagine going through it all with anybody else. Nor do I think I would have wanted to.
Instead of flowers that die, or cards that are thrown out after a week, she and the family wish contributions to be made to the girls' education fund.
Donations in the names of Patricia and Bethany Levite will be accepted by:
WSFS, 838 Market St., Wilmington, DE, 19801
Attention: Dover Branch, Savings, Amanda Farschman
Landmark Credit Union, 506 W. Fairchild, Danville, IL 61832
Attention: VP Suzanne Birge
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far.
Philippians 1: 19 - 23
Poetic Tribute from a friend.
Carrie's article and dedication of her Boston Marathon to Melissa. [presented as recieved as a Adobe file]
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