©1 June 2025 Levite
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1.
I ran into the service manager from the dealership that maintains our Department's hybrid cars, and he asked me if my car windows were staying up.
It took me a second to recognize him because, for the first time that I'd seen him, he wasn't wearing a tie and a dealership suit jacket. "Why, yes they are, thank you. I think you fixed it."
"That's good. Are you on a case today?" He asked me, and I had a sense of what was coming.
"No, just doing a bit of routine shopping," I answered and gestured to my shopping cart full of paper products and laundry detergent.
"Same here," he pointed to his own cart with similar items in it. "Do you have any plans for lunch that I can change? My treat, and I know a place not far from here that serves an interesting plate of fish and chips."
"How interesting can a plate of fish and chips be?"
"The fish is Mahi-mahi, and the chips are made from either plantains or sweet potatoes, your choice."
"That does sound interesting. You're on." Then I looked down at my cart, "can I at least put the toilet paper in my car first?"
"I'll be right behind you."
It was an interesting plate of fish and chips. And it was a nice lunch. And I found out that the name on the tag on his work jacket was not his real name.
"I've been called Derek since high school. And, yes, it was because I was trying to play guitar. I was never that good, but I still play once in awhile. I just enjoy it."
It was a good lunch, and for some reason I let him talk me into competing in a martial arts demonstration for a local children's charity that he had gotten involved in because the dealership was a sponsor.
"I didn't even know it existed before I got volunteered to help at an event. Then I met some of the kids, and their parents, and, you know, it's just a good thing to do."
I nodded, "our office participates with them in a couple of their events. But I didn't know they had a martial arts day."
"This is the second one. The first one was in Nassau County, so it's our turn."
We talked for awhile, then I mentioned that I had wanted to stop by a place later and check it out. Derek honestly didn't know about my 'special cases' other than I spent a lot of time on the road.
"I don't get to see a lot of television. The set's on in the customer waiting area and sometimes I'll check out the weather on it, but other than that, when I get home, I've got other things to do."
I nodded, "same here, I didn't even get to see my own interview until later. When they ran it, I was out on a case. I saw it two days later at the office.
He took out his phone, "Is it still available? I'd love to see it. Just so I know what you're talking about."
"It was on the TV station's website. It should still be there."
It was, and it was sponsored by a rival car dealership, which he thought was hilarious.
We sat at the table in the fish and chips restaurant and watched it.
Twice.
Then he asked me what sort of place I was going out to.
"They call it the Irishman's House, although I can't find a record where anybody I'd say was an Irishman ever owned it."
"Maybe one rented it off the owner and the records just aren't available."
"That could be."
I had an idea, and I broached it to Derek. If he agreed to a bit of role playing, it might get whoever was in the house to let us know it was there.
"It sounds like fun, and I know all about how to be a disagreeable customer." He made an unpleasant face and stuck his nose up.
"Don't be too disagreeable, and remember, if there is somebody still attached to the house, they probably don't like changes. From the reports it shouldn't be residual, so we might just get them to respond to something like that."
"We could start by planning a small change, new paint and all, and go from there." He said doing a pantomime of painting a wall.
"Excellent."
Then he looked at me oddly, "are we pretending to be a couple or are you my real estate agent?"
I thought about it, "I'll be your agent today, and we can go from there."
2.
We set it up so that I had about fifteen minutes to get the house open and do a bit of tidying up, making it clear to whoever was hanging out that it was about to be sold. I even picked up one of those real estate market booklets on my way out of the restaurant as a prop, then I stopped at a dollar store and got a for sale sign to put in the front window.
I walked in with my kit bag and my props. The first thing I did was make a show about putting some random scrap papers and water bottles in a trash bag.
"It's got to look better than this when the buyer gets here." I said, "This place has to make a good impression, and they've got to get these boxes out of here before the next one comes in."
I put the real estate listing booklet on the table and got out my for sale sign. And debated with myself about which window to put it in, or did I want to put a sign out front.
During all that, I put out my recorders, and set one of the full spectrum cameras to take a single shot every five seconds.
Then I went back to tidying up.
Derek arrived a few minutes late, but in full on businessman character, including his dealership suit jacket with logo and name tag, on the phone, talking about changing the house's zoning to business so they could create a new showroom for the dealership.
"Yes, yes, I'm there now. It's a bit small, but if we took out the front wall and put in glass doors you'd be able to see the showcar from the street." He said waving at the front side of the house.
He was so good he almost had me believing him.
In a few moments, and after some more details of their plans, he ended the call and put the phone in his pocket while looking at the kitchen. "Of course these cabinets would have to go, they are so last century." He said with a snide voice and sneer.
"They're real wood." I said defending the house.
"So is a tree." Then he looked around, "Well, show me the rest of it, is there room for a separate sales office?"
We walked into the front bedroom and he announced their plan to remove the wall on the living room side, and half of the wall that had the hallway door on it to make this room part of the front room to display new cars. "We'll have the two newest hybrid cars in here, and put the portraits of the other models along the walls."
He said the bathroom was "quaint", but added that it had to be disabled compliant, and that it looked like they could enlarge the door enough to make it accessible.
"This will not do at all," Derek said in the back bedroom, "I don't see this room as a sales office for exclusive automobiles to a high end clientele." He walked to the far side of the room and looked at the intensely ugly fake leather couch. "This should be in a landfill someplace." Then he shook his head, "It might be better if we just buy the house as is and have it torn down and build our showroom to our specifications." He took out his phone, "Let me go call Mister Carman and see if he wants to stay with our original offer. I'll be back in a minute."
I followed Derek to the front door. He went on out and down the front stairs looking at his phone while I shut the door behind him. Then I turned around and looked at the living room.
It felt darker.
"Well, that didn't go as well as I had hoped, the property sales committee won't like that, but, they want to move the place. I guess they'll take the offer if the dealer makes one."
I walked back toward the kitchen and pointed to my recorder, "if you have anything to say before I pack up and we wait to see if they're going to sell the house, say it now. And I will listen to it later."
Then I went into the back bedroom and got the other recorder, and then the camera that was there.
Finally I walked into the kitchen and got the recorder that was sitting on the counter. Then I packed everything up and walked out of the house.
I sat in my car and checked the recorder and got the shock of my life.
Derek tapped quietly on my window, I looked up and then rolled down the driver's window. "Are you OK?" he asked me.
"Yeah, get in, you've got to hear this."
Derek walked around to the passenger side, and moved my bag of stuff to sit down and closed the door.
I found the spot again and then played it. We heard him leave and my statement about how the visit didn't go as well as it could have.
My voice said the line about 'if you have anything to say...' and then just a few seconds later...
" ... why should we ... talk to you ... "
Derek was visibly startled by the statement, "that wasn't either of us."
"No. I'll play it again," I said, then did.
"That's really clear." He looked at me, "and it said 'we'. There's more than one."
"Could be." I nodded, "And there was no hesitation, they answered as soon as I asked."
He was looking out the window toward the house, "I thought I just saw something move in there."
"They're probably watching us."
"Who? The Irishman?"
"That voice didn't sound Irish, and it said 'we'. I'm going to have to come back and do another session in there. I'd like to do it tonight, while I've got their attention." I glanced over at him, "You up for it?"
"I wish I could, but I've got a meeting I've got to be at tonight." Then he smiled, "At least I can tell them I have a special guest for the martial arts portion."
"I'm not that special."
"Detective Elaine, I think you're very special."
3.
After Derek left to get ready for his meeting, I decided to make a run for supplies. And yes, pizza was on that list. I wanted to keep up the image that the house was going to change hands and, possibly, be torn down to make way for a new business, so I bought some packing supplies and a few extra boxes.
I made a show of carrying in the boxes and checking my marker and tape. In between I set up my recorders and put the full spectrum and thermal cameras on their timers.
Then I played at checking to see if the couch would fit through the door, and wondered about who I could get to help me carry it out.
Then, I decided it was suppertime, and I went to have my pizza.
I prefer my pizza either blazing hot and bubbling right out of the oven, or, and something which is more practical when out at a location, warm, or even, cool out of the refrigerator.
Today, as I knew I wouldn't get a chance to eat until later, I didn't worry about the pizza I bought from the local shop not far from the house, and then after I got set up, the cheese was no longer runny but it was still warm enough to smell good when I opened the box.
And it was quite tasty as well.
Before I'd finished my first slice there was a knock on the door.
At first I thought it was the knocking they'd reported happening in the house, but instead, I heard Derek call my name, then he knocked again.
"Was the offer to investigate with you tonight still open?"
"Yes, but," I said, and he must have saw the confusion on my face.
"Here, you can read it yourself," he said and handed me his phone with the screen open to his messages.
"Tire rotation and oil change special to be extended through the end of the month." I read out loud.
"What? No...." He looked at the screen and closed the window that had opened as soon as he handed it to me. "This one."
I read that one out loud as well, "Sorry it's last minute, but Sylvester and Mrs. Barton both tested positive for COVID. I'm clear, but we're going to postpone for a week. If you've been near either of them you may want to get tested. Simone." I gave him his phone back, "Well, do you have COVID?"
He shook his head, "No, I haven't talked to either of them in a month. That's one advantage I have to having a full time job. So?" He gestured into the house and held up a bag from a deli and a cold two liter of soda.
"I've got a pizza, but... we can share."
"Wonderful." Then he paused and whispered to me, "do you still want me to buy the place and redo it?"
I nodded and stepped back to invite him in.
We had an actual feast of his deli sandwiches and my pizza.
While we ate he talked about what he said were actual plans for the dealership to open what amounted to branch offices for sales and service in areas where they already had repeat customers and where the local population was part of their target demographic for certain models.
It was a fascinating glimpse into the behind the scenes workings of a new car dealership. Well, it was interesting. Mostly. I don't think my eyes glazed over, and I did make an effort to listen politely.
When he finished telling me about how the ownership group was serious about moving to what some called 'pocket showrooms' instead of another auto-mall, I nodded and reached over for the recorder that was on the counter next to us.
"Let's see if we got a response," I said and downloaded the audio that was on it. Then, almost on a whim, I got the full spectrum camera and pulled the new files off of it as well.
I opened the recording and I saw a trace that looked familiar during a pause in our conversation.
".... ... you shouldn't be here...."
"What did you hear it say?" Derek asked me after I replayed it.
"That we're not supposed to be here."
He nodded, "that's what I got."
I went through the photos that had been taken from the other side of the room, "It was right about..." I said looking at the time on the photos. I ran the sequence from a couple of minutes before the voice on.
"There." Derek said as the images flashed across the screen.
"I see it, let me back it up."
Just about the time they had spoke to us there was an interesting distortion across about half the picture from the lower left to the top center. In the next frame it was on the bottom right. Then it was gone, and never showed up again.
Derek got up and looked at the image and tried to determine where it would have had to have been in the room. "So, you can see the edge of the cabinet here. So it was behind that," he held his hand out toward where the camera was, "and it moved that way."
In the second picture, the distortion was between the camera and the spare kitchen chair sitting back from the table with my bag on it. Which meant that whatever caused the distortion was between the two of us sitting at the table, and that chair.
Almost as if it wanted to sit at the table and join us, but my bag was in the way.
I tried to look at the images and decide if it had any specific form, but it looked like more of a distortion wave like you see out on the sound with a long low set of ripples from a boat passing a couple of miles out.
"Well, we know something is here. Let's see if we can find out why it is here and what it wants or needs."
Derek nodded, "OK, this is your thing, what do we do?"
I told him the first thing we do is reset the equipment, then sit quietly and let the house calm down around us.
He got a bottle of water and sat in his chair and waited with me.
"Feel it changing?" I asked him softly.
"Yeah, now that you mention it, it's like the house is waiting on us to do something."
"It is."
All of the equipment was running now, including the proximity and motion sensors and the second camera.
I spoke slowly and clearly. "OK, we're here. My recorders are running and they can hear you. That little box on the corner of the cabinet with the green light will let us know you're here if you go near it. Just speak into one of the recorders like you did before, and tell us why you're here and what you need."
In a moment, the EMF sensor went from green to yellow then to red, meaning something moved close to it, and then was basically right on it, then it went back to green.
"Very good," I said slowly, "earlier you said 'we'. Did that mean there is more than one of you here?"
I heard something from over by the door, I looked over at Derek, "Did you hear a whisper?"
"Yes, I think it said 'five'."
I nodded, "that's what I heard. If we heard the right number, five, light up the green box again."
This time the response was almost immediate. And instead of slowly changing to red, it went from green to red like some stoplights are reported to do.
"OK, good, we can have a conversation like that. If you want to talk with us, change it once for yes, and twice for no."
The light went from green to red about six times in a row.
Derek was as surprised as I was, "I guess that means no" he said.
The light then went from green to red once, then changed back through yellow.
"That's fine, but I still need to know who you are, and if the people coming here to bring new records and to find old ones are safe. Who are you? The five of you."
The room got very still, and suddenly felt darker and smaller.
Derek seemed to be getting nervous, "Something is changing. But I don't know...."
I nodded, "it's getting ready to do something. Let's wait it out, it'll be OK."
The vibration 2sensor on the floor in the living room behind Derek started going off, then abruptly quit and went dark.
Then we heard a tapping and something of a scratching sound from one of the other rooms.
"Whoa," Derek said, "smell that?"
"Yes, it's bad." I got up and checked around the kitchen, "and getting worse."
The smell was something like a family of skunks had decided to burn some sulfur in a garbage dump. And it was getting stronger.
Then the green EMF detector on the counter turned red and stayed there.
"OK, I get the message, we'll go." I said and started grabbing everything I had in the kitchen and shoving it in my bag.
Except the putrid smell and oppressive feeling got even worse.
"Let's go, I'll come back for them tomorrow," I coughed to Derek indicated the rest of the house.
"Yes," he agreed half gagging from the smell.
I grabbed my bag and led him out the side door.
4.
We stood out by the cars and breathed the fresh and and marveled at the sky for a few moments.
"OK, you tell me, what in the hell was that?" Derek said.
"I think that is exactly what it was," I answered.
"Hell?"
"Well, maybe not the actual place, but one of its residents."
He didn't answer, but was instead staring at the house, "I just felt it leave."
I nodded, "it probably took a lot of energy for it to manifest like that." I took a deep breath, "I'm going to go back in and get the rest of my gear, if you want to stay out here it's OK."
"Me stay out here and let my girlfriend walk into the demon house of Long Island alone? No. I'll go with you. I'll hold the light while you get the stuff," he reached into my bag and got two flashlights out.
Except both of them were stone dead. I got the backup light out of my car and gave it to him.
"Those were fully charged when I checked them earlier, that's another sign that this one is serious."
"Tell me about it later, let's get in and get out."
I nodded and we went in expecting to be hit in the face by that horrid smell.
Except the only smell in the place was leftover pizza.
"How could it air out that fast?" Derek asked me.
"It couldn't. If it were anything else you'd have to fumigate the place with essential oils or something to get rid of it. Let's grab the rest of the gear and get out of here."
The batteries in the other recorder and the cameras were dead. The ones in the motion detector that was on the living room floor were almost gone as well. Even the battery in my laptop was down to less than twenty minutes of power, and not only was it fully charged, it had been plugged into an outlet and was running on AC power.
When I mentioned that Derek took out his phone and looked at it. Then he tried pushing buttons on it, "Nothing, it won't even boot up."
"They used everything they could against us." I put the stuff in my bag and closed it. "It wasn't just playing with us. That entity. Or entities. Really wanted us out of there."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Let's get away from here first. I want to go through what we've got and see if anything else spoke to us or showed up in a photo." I looked at my watch, which was dead, so I checked the clock in my car, "It's only ten. I want to do it tonight while it's all still fresh."
Derek smiled, "OK, I'll help if you want," I nodded to him, and he asked "where?"
"The office is probably the closest, and it's safe and quiet, and doesn't stink. Is that OK with you?"
"I know where it's at, I'll make one stop and meet you there."
I was just getting out of my car and wondering where Derek was going to stop when he pulled in and parked next to me. He got out of his car with a shopping bag.
"I stopped by the lot, I know where the stash is," he held up the bag, "I thought that after that we'd need a junk food fix."
"And how." I smiled.
I got him a spare laptop from the training room and we sat and reviewed evidence and ate an endless parade of ridiculously sweet and overly salty snacks.
I held one of what had been a pair of snack cakes up for him to look at, "it says this is lemon flavored. I don't think there's ever been a lemon with that flavor."
"Probably not. I doubt if it's ever seen a lemon. You going to finish that one?"
"Yes."
We had several photos of interest just before the camera in the hallway leading to the back bedroom went dead. By the time stamp it was right when we, and the three recorders that were running heard the tapping from that end of the house. The photo sequence showed what looked like a dark mist or fog forming in the hallway.
"It looks like it is coming up out of the floor," I said running back and forth through the photos.
Derek agreed, "look, you can see the floor in the, that's what, the front bedroom?"
I had to think about where the camera was, "Yes, and that door to the right is the bathroom."
And then, right in the middle of the next series of pictures, after two shots of the fog swirling in front of the camera, the battery, which should have been good for several hours of work, quit.
Besides the tapping we had several bits of audio that were interesting.
"That's a different voice," Derek said after I played one a second time. "Female?"
"That's what it sounds like to me, but what is she saying?"
I played it again and we both listened intently.
"That's not English, or Spanish." Derek said.
"And it's not German." Then I remembered something, "They call that place the Irishman's house. I wonder if it's one of their languages."
"I know somebody from Ireland, make a copy of it and send it to me, I'll ask him to listen to it."
"Who do you know from Ireland?"
"One of our salesmen, he was born over there and his family moved here when he was a kid. His grandmother came with them and only speaks a dozen words of English."
"He should be able to tell us." I copied that part of the audio and sent it to him in an email.
Another voice was on the directional recorder, which showed that the source was from just behind and to one side of the unit. "... jus ... leave... alone..." it said in somewhat breathy English.
Then in a moment, the same voice said, " ... away ... out..."
Derek had found it on the recorder, he played it for me and said, "That's a man, he almost sounds sick."
"He's definitely not happy."
It was after midnight. We were wired up on evidence, and sugar, as we walked out into the night.
"OK, Detective Elaine. You've got a possible demon, and assorted friends, in a county owned building used by the city for storage. What are you going to tell them?"
I thought about it, "First there's something I need to know."
"The ghost's name?"
"No." I said with a grin, "You said you weren't going to let your girlfriend walk into the demon house alone."
"You caught that." He said, "Well, you know. It was...." He gestured off to one side.
"I'm OK with it if you are."
And I don't care if the parking lot security cameras caught us kissing on it or not.
5.
The report I wrote for the Historic Trust, and the city, and the Sheriff, and I even sent a copy to Derek, was, without a doubt, the most serious one I'd written yet.
While I avoided saying that the lead presence in the house was demonic, I all but said it.
I also said that there were residual presences in the house from when an Irish family had lived there, one of which had said "I'm still here" in Irish Gaelic, as well as at least one other, were probably harmless.
I concluded with....
In short, while I can say with some reasonable certainty that to continue to use the property for storage is probably safe for the employees and others that need to enter the building, to access the records and items stored there, conduct other business for a short time, and then leave. I would not recommend any long term occupancy in the building.
We have evidence that if individuals spend considerable time in the house, up to several hours, the presence can become unpleasant. Including random noises, feelings of oppression, the draining of power from electronics, and even unpleasant odors can manifest.
While it may be possible to have the lead spirit removed, that procedure also comes with some risk, which includes provoking it to the point where the property becomes unusable, and there is also the potential that it may spread its influence to neighboring properties, some of which are privately owned businesses and residences.
The Sheriff stood by my desk and looked at me.
At first I thought he was going to mention my companion for the investigation, but then he held out the report. "So, is it a demon or not?"
"My opinion is that it is, probably a minor one, not very powerful, and not very dangerous. Just annoying and unpleasant." I took a long breath.
He started to say something when I finished what I was saying.
"But, we don't want it calling home and telling its big brother we're causing it problems either."
He thought about it, "No. I suppose not."
The following weekend I put on my best workout outfit and went to the charity event. It was a huge affair that covered the athletic field at a high school with vendor booths, information stands in the gym, with demonstrations, music and theatrical presentations all day in the auditorium.
I told the Shihan from the dojo in the city that it was an honor to meet him, to which he replied. "No. Miss Detective. I assure you. I am the one honored to meet you."
We exchanged deep bows and I think I smiled for the rest of the day.
To promote the demonstration and light competition, with actual prizes, we all did a parade through the outside vendors and then the stands in the gym as the loudspeakers announced what was happening. As there were over thirty of us, in all manner of outfits from traditional karate gi with a hachimaki headband, all the way through long robes, and, like me, just basic workout clothes, we drew a lot of looks and comments, and, sometimes, applause.
Then I heard Derek's voice over the PA in the auditorium, and he did the introductions, I was surprised to see that the auditorium was more than half full, with people still coming in and finding seats.
Then as I went backstage I saw him sitting on a stool off to one side. A student helper came up to me and told me when I'd be on, and then asked if I was part of the sparring competition. I told her I was, and which styles I did, and she wrote my name down. Twice.
There were four of us signed up for Muay Thai. And we went through a fairly good demonstration. Then in about half an hour I was back out for the Judo demonstration with six others. And then, later still, I was involved in several rounds of sparring, which were judged by the old master from the City. And which, if I had to say, the audience really enjoyed.
The Shihan awarded me two ribbons. One for the best combination of styles, and another for the most accomplished woman. And while everybody who participated in the sparring did get a participation ribbon, they were handed out by Derek. The master instructor bowed and gave me mine and told me how well I had represented my arts. For which I thanked him and bowed deeply.
Then I became part of the overall production number of a semi-choreographed routine as a curtain call while Derek thanked the audience for coming to our event and supporting the charity.
As we finished up and paraded out, a high school choir was coming in.
It was a good day out.
Until Monday when I had to sit in the conference room and ignore everybody while the Sheriff played the spot from the local TV news about the event, which, oddly enough, highlighted part of my sparing match and then the ribbon ceremony.
The Sheriff let the good-natured comments and kidding go on for a minute, then he reminded everybody that our office was also one of the sponsors for the charity, and nobody else had volunteered or contributed.
When he said that, all of the sudden other matters became more important than my sparing match.
Manager Marjorie had a lot of questions about the report, but took some comfort when I said that, after a suitable cooling off period, I'd go back and re-evaluate the Irishman's House, and if the conditions there worsened, I'd begin to look into what could be done about it.
That didn't exactly close the case. But I thought it was something we could all live with.
-end Irishman's House-
[NOTE: The above story were written as adventure fiction, and is to be taken as such. While most of the features of Long Island exist, the rest of the setting is fictional.
Thank you, Dr. Leftover, TheMediaDesk.com]
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