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"DANGER Will Robinson. DANGER !"


the Insufferable Melancholy Melody

©05 The Media Desk

      The Desk listens to the Radio.
      And does so a LOT more than it watches TV.
      Music, news, talk shows, sports, whatever. It is far more likely to hear something on the radio than it is to see it on television.
      One reason it does is to get away from the celebrities pitching and shilling for various causes, their "comrade may I" political leanings, and the rampant do-gooderism interspersed with obnoxiously loud commercials and reality shows.
      And before you ask, it does listen to the Rush Limbaugh show... usually when Rush isn't there however. It likes his pinch hitters a lot more than it does him anymore. Like Dr. Walter Williams, somebody should put that man on full time. And if they have to move Rush to the Insomniac Theater to do it, oh well.
      Maybe Rush and Art Bell can do a tag team radio show. You have to admit one thing, it would be really interesting wouldn't it?

      Anyway, back on course.

      So when a bunch of really stupid ads hit the air. It hears them.
      Like the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE promoting ad from that "you want fries with that place".
      You missed that one? Oh, it's a classic.
      A man and a woman stop there for breakfast. She asks him what he ordered. He answers 'food' or something like that. She rephrases the question and he answers in similar fashion. Then she asks him again with: "One more and you get smacked."
      But of course, domestic violence can only be a male abusing a female. Right?
      If that spot had the parts reversed, it would have never survived the first weekend of broadcast.

      And then there are the Public Service Ads.

      Instead of the mechanical voice of the Robot on board the classic space ship, JUPITER 2 shrilling a warning and waving its arms, we have urgent voiced actors on radio commercials.
      But unlike the robot, these voices lie as often as not.

      For instance on the public awareness commercial about mercury poisoning in children from "... Mercury itself has become part of our everyday lives. Absorbed by certain fish. Taken into our bodies. And passed on to our children like a common cold."

      Their website's source file on this commercial lists research articles about everything they say, EXCEPT the last statement.
      There IS NO documented proof that Mercury can be passed from person to person 'like a common cold'. If you sneeze, NOBODY is going be exposed to mercury, however, they will be exposed to some aerosolized viral particulates that might infect them with a cold.
      Of course they're talking about cross-placenta transfer, but that's not what they are saying.

      This group- is simply the latest in a long train of panic mongers that paint all men as abusers, all industry as wanton polluters, all food outlets as obesity pushers and so on... and you need their group to save you from these various ills, real and imagined.
      Of course all the group ever really wants is your donation so they can further their message. In this case, Earthshare is a fund raising front for a laundry list of environmental groups both mainstream and 'also rans'.

      Of course the SECOND LINK across the top of their page, or down the left side, either one, take you to their donations section where you can donate online or by phone, or if you insist, you can mail them a check and they will distribute the funds among their member groups.

      And then there's the subjective nonsense that is essentially meaningless, but they spout it regularly anyway. This one is in their Pesticides in the Classroom ad:

"Five heartbeats. That's how long it takes to learn about the dangers of pesticides that could be found in your child's classroom."

      Five heartbeats is what? Three Seconds? PLEASE, pray thee tell, EXACTLY what we can learn in Three Seconds that is in any way shape or form meaningful about pesticides that COULD be found in a classroom?

      And since these ads are partially sponsored by the Ad Council, can't somebody complain to them?
           Oh yeah.

The Advertising Council: We marshal the volunteer forces of the agencies and media companies to effect positive social change.

      It is hard to argue with Smokey the Bear and 'friends don't let friends drive drunk'. But it would seem their focus has shifted slightly, so now we must ask....
      Positive to Whom nowadays?

      Now a question.
      The Nature Conservancy and the Audubon Society are well known, well established conservation charities. So are the Sierra Club and the World Wildlife Fund. Do they know the Earthshare People are Lying on their behalf?
      Probably not. And if they did, they might not be too concerned about it.

      And now another question; Does the Truth in Advertising laws apply to these people and those like them?


      And now a bit about the music on that radio when Dr. Williams isn't talking.

      It doesn't matter which music format you listen to. Top forty, country, adult contemporary, the songs are SAPPY.

      Oh come on, give us a break with the 'message' songs. PLEASE.

      It's bad enough the social do-gooders with their commercials are beating us over the head with nonsense like we talked about above. Do we need Tim McGraw telling us about living life to the fullest or John Mayer and his sickeningly sentimental lyric...

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

            Artist: John Mayer

and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

            Live like you were Dying
            Artist: Tim McGraw

      It's enough to make you turn off your radio too.


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