©02 The Media Desk
-and- Jim Deep
[WEBMASTER'S NOTE: Brutha Jim Deep is one of the leading purveyors of erotic fiction on the Net today, and there isn't a picture or movie to be found anywhere on his site. Dr. Leftover does occasional HTML layout and offers advice now and again about the creative process. The Two Sites Are Otherwise Unrelated. However, the Desk found Brutha Deep's analysis of the subject at hand rather insightful and completely politically incorrect, so it is being simultaneously posted on The Media Desk in the USA and on Deep's site in Russia. ]
I thought about it for a couple of weeks and at one point actually started a list. Except it was a list of things that weren't sexy. And that list got rather long a little too quickly.
Some of them were no-brainers. Like poor personal hygiene, or excessively obese. No not a little dirty, a sweaty woman that has been working in the yard can be sexy, a little dirt under her nails and some pine needles in her hair can be irresistible. I'm talking about BO and rotten teeth. And some women that are just a tad plump can be just a tad sexy. I mean somebody who would make a good Richard Simmons Prime Time Special.
A couple were self defense. I don't like women that get half a drink in them and giggle like a high school date. And if she wants to get stoned, get out.
Others on my No-Go list were personal taste. I don't like women who talk constantly. 'Chatterboxes' my grandmother would call them. Something else I simply don't like is women who perm their hair. But I know I guy that actually likes tight hard curls on his wife's head. To each their own I guess.
So then I had to decide what was Sexy.
I came to the conclusion that there is no one thing that makes the nut. But there are a few things that seem to come in a package deal.
So is Sexy just about Sex?
But I would much rather have sex with a woman who was Sexy than one that wasn't. No matter what she looked like.
Which I think is part of the attraction of somebody like Julia Roberts. Ok. Going in. She is damned pretty, still is, even though she is getting a little long in the tooth for that America's Sweetheart bit (and no, sexy is not a function of relative youth, some mature women are just as sexy as any younger ones). But Roberts seems to be (and I have never met her in person) pleasant, comfortable with herself, not an airhead, and so on. OK, she might actually be a prima-donna demanding bitch and a three quarter gainer Hollywood Slut, but it doesn't show. And I don't think she would be where she is if she was. Julia Roberts is, and I will not apologize for it, Sexy.
Since we are dealing with Celebrities... since more people would know who I was talking about than if I mentioned Deidre [deleted]. And you can talk about them without fear of lawyers calling like with real people according to the bimbo paralegal... I will also mention Halle Berry. She is so damned pretty, and sexy, I almost can't watch her on TV or in a movie. I forget what I'm watching and stare at her.
Somebody the guys I work with turned me on to is Faith Hill. Damn. That describes her just fine. And sexy? In spades.
Now, a celebrity that is NOT sexy. Britney. She is gorgeous, true, but she is about as sexy as Rosie. Some of the other MTV girl singers strike the same cord with me. OK, they are cute, and look like they'd wear me out in bed, but then, hell babe, hit the bricks, no, never mind, I'll hit it and I'll call you sometime.
Pamela Anderson is on that list, and so is Anna Nicole Smith, or whatever her name is this month. So is the entire cast of 'Friends'.
I don't think you can buy Sexy. You can learn it, but you can't buy it. And your Upper East Side Plastic Surgeon can't install it either.
It doesn't matter who your friends are, or what car you drive, or whose name is on your shoes. Faith Hill would be sexy if she had my friends (they should be so lucky) drove a 1983 Ford and wore blown out bobo sneaks.
Julia Roberts would be sexy wearing an old T-shirt, or nothing at all. So would a fascinating young woman I work with. And I have told her as much, corporate lawyers be damned.
And that's another thing. I like naked women for my viewing pleasure probably more than the next guy. Be they live or on tape, to me, naked women are a good thing. But when it comes to behind closed doors, or a deserted picnic area in the Park, I do like the woman partially clothed, at least for a little while. I know, Anticipation and all that, but hell, part of the fun is undressing her... with my teeth.
More than appearance.
More than attitude.
More than I can put into words, Sexy is ...
Sexy is a way of life.
[NOTE: As was state above. The Desk found this article to cut right down to the quick on the matter. And although the Desk does not share all the opinions Deep stated, it does agree with the overall conclusion. (One thing it disagrees with is the matter of a partially clothed woman being sexier in person, but we may have to agree to disagree, if either Ms Hill or Ms Roberts stops by, it will do more research and report back.)
And, although Deep might never admit it, his conclusions and lists probably work equally for Men as well as Woman.
All emails on this matter will be forwarded to Jim Deep. -Webmaster]
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