Things you can learn from 'X-treme jackass reality' shows

©02 The Media Desk

      At work at its part time job the Desk has occasion to watch late night TV. One of the shows on that it watches is one of those reality shows where real people with video cameras do stupid things. Some intentionally, some not so, but all are filmed for posterity, then the survivors send in the tape for fun and profit.

      It has learned several valuable lessons from watching this show and others of its ilk at two in the morning.
      They are listed below in case you do not have opportunity to watch it or one of the many clones of this type of show.

The Desk X List

  1. Gravity still works nights and weekends.
  2. You cannot breathe under water.
  3. Human skin is not tougher than car hoods.
  4. Or concrete sidewalks.
  5. Fire Burns.
  6. It is possible to fall out of the same tree twice.
  7. The Hell's Angels do not think being mooned is cute.
  8. Kerosene tastes bad.
  9. Rattlesnakes don't care if the camera is on or not.
  10. Neither do wildcats, alligators, hornets, or sharks.
  11. If you make a seventeen hundred pound bull mad enough, it will hurt you. Badly.
  12. Large ugly men with bad tempers do not appreciate wedgies.
  13. Giving a group of police officers the finger is a bad idea.
  14. When riding a motorcycle into a breakaway fence, make sure you ride it into the right fence.
  15. Erupting geysers and volcanoes, falling avalanches, and roaring floodwaters do not know the meaning of the word 'Cut'.
  16. Hang gliding nude through a carwash while on fire is painful.
  17. If you aren't stupid enough to try a really asinine stunt, have another beer and discuss it with your buddies some more.
  18. People who try these stunts deserve the Darwin Award they are trying so desperately to win.
[NOTE: Other than said bad habit of watching these shows at 'Oh Dark Thirty' while working the graveyard shift a couple of times a week, the Desk has no other association with any 'Reality' type show including the MTV show, the MAXimum eXposure show, or any of the others and movie referenced in passing above. All shows are copyright and trademark by their owners, MTV, Paramount, etc. The Desk is not affiliated with any of them, including the Darwin Award site. Thank you ]

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