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Ribbons.

©01 The Media Desk

        The Desk remembers when the Ribbon thing started.

        During the 1980 Iran Hostage Crisis the Tony Orlando and Dawn song 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon (round the old oak tree)' was the theme song for the event. People who couldn't influence International Politics or Convince the Terrorists that were being Sponsored and Encouraged by the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini and his Islamic Revolutionary Council to 'Let My People Go' wore yellow ribbons and, indeed, tied them around trees. Some of which may have been old oak trees.

        Well. One thing led to another and today there are more colored ribbons for more causes than you could shake an oak tree at.

        Pink Ribbons show support for a cure for Breast Cancer.

        Red Ribbons mean you're against AIDS or have donated blood today, depending on which outfit gave you the ribbon.

        Blue Ribbons represent, among other things, the Internet Free Speech Campaign.

        There are still Yellow Ribbons for POWs and unjustly imprisoned 'Political Prisoners' in the US.

        Green Ribbons for the Rain Forest, or is that the Ozone Layer... No that's Organ Donors now.

        White Ribbons show you remember Terrorist Victims.

        There are Purple ones for one thing, and Baby Blue ones for something else, and a rather ugly shade of light green for yet another well meaning crusade against, or was that for, yet another injustice.

        And a really neat one supporting Polyamory... whatever that is.

        There are Ribbon Campaigns for Animal Rights, against Alcoholism, Child Labor, and every other Good Cause you can think of. Some of the nuttier ones are a ribbon campaign against Ribbon Campaigns and one trying to Stop Bill Gates from running, or is that ruining, the Net.

        And there are Web Sites to help you keep them all straight. But some of them contradict each other.

        For awhile the Desk had one of those little Pink Ribbon pins on its Sporting Event Hat for its wife. But then after the third person tried to get it to pin a different color ribbon on its hat it had enough. So two years ago at a college football game, it swore off Ribbons, and evidently broke a cheerleader's heart. She was pushing ribbons to save the left footed spotted mongoose or something. The only ribbon campaign the Desk is even remotely involved in is the Blue one, and that link on The Media Desk site is unpaid, un-sponsored, and Un-updated. If it gets clicked on once in awhile, so much the better. If not. Oh well.

        You see people at some events with a row of ribbons on their shirt lined up like military decorations. And they can tell you all about them, and why they wear them, and how long it takes them to get them pinned on Just So. One lady even had them lined up according to her sense of priority. One was from MADD, another was Pink, and so on.

        The Desk has nothing against Ribbon Campaigns. Just don't hand it a ribbon and expect it to wear it. Or even worse... Offer to pin it to the Desk's shirt.

        Maybe we'll start another Ribbon Campaign. We could use black.... No, black is already taken, something about advertising abuse or like that way. Multi-colored ribbons are already used too.
        How about a clear ribbon, transparent, or even better, a virtual invisible ribbon... against violating my space with your pet ribbon campaign.

        Now don't get the wrong idea. The Desk is all for Free Speech. And ribbon campaigns, no matter how idiotic, are a form of Free Speech.
        But even Free Speech has its limits.

        Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
The Bill Of Rights

        You have the RIGHT, indeed, the Responsibility, to support whatever cause turns your fancy. But don't expect us to support it whole-heartedly, or even to care.
        Like the poor cheerleader with the gold ribbons for whatever cause it was, it meant a lot to her, and some people were taking her ribbons just to appease her, but while Nuke The Gay Whales for Jesus is a great cause.... It's not real high on the Desk's personal list of concerns.
        You have THE RIGHT to spout off on whatever social ills you feel kin to, but the Desk also has THE RIGHT to ignore you.

        Yes.

        You have the right to speak, but not the right to be listened to.

        There is a MUTE button on the TV. In person: We can just walk away.

        And if you try to pin your ribbon to my hat. Expect an assault warrant to come in the mail with your name on it.

        "Your Honor. The Defendant Did... With Fore-planning and Malice... Attempt to PIN... in an unprovoked fashion... An Orange Ribbon... Signifying his undying devotion to the cause of... That would be... Teenage Drug Use."
        "Excuse me Counsel... is the Defendant For or Against it?"
        "I'm not sure Your Honor... Let me confer with the Opposing Counsel."

        Reality TV should be so good. Maybe then somebody would watch it.

        So.... Step Right Up.... Get your Virtual Invisible Ribbon. Wear One... Put one on Your Web Site! Show Your Support for the campaign to Mind Your Own Business!

        Soon everybody will be wearing an invisible ribbon and there will be one on every site on the Net.
        Yes there will be. And every time you see an invisible ribbon, you will know they Fully Support the Desk in this Cause.

        If you want to buy a Virtual Invisible Ribbon.... Email the Desk and it will send you the information so you can be the first to get yours. DrLeftover@themediadesk.com

Selah.

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