©01 The Media Desk

I've got to update my Yahoo! profile.

The Great and Wise Master of All Things IFT has noticed that some people have one email address on their IFT membership, another one listed with the Yahoo! group, still another one they get email from Irma the Internet Used Appliance Lady in. The IFT wants all things IFT to go to one Email account.

A lot of people only have one email account. Some have two or maybe three counting a work mailbox. But the Desk is rather unusual, even by multiple email account people. In the Desk's case it has (at last count) eleven Active accounts that are each checked at least once a week... But at least one of those is probably down due to a server error, or disconnected, full of SPAM, or the Desk has forgotten the password or something and can't get into it until it finds the right sticky note.

Now the Desk has to figure out which account it listed on the IFT membership card, and which one the RAVEN has, and which one it sent to Sporting Goods Online for their new catalog. Everything must agree, right?

So... Off we go into Yahoo!land.

OK. How on God's Good Green Earth does one go about updating a Yahoo! profile?

Does the Desk even have a Yahoo! profile? Well, probably, since it does get email in a Yahoo! account, there must be some sort of virtual paperwork around here someplace that says the Desk has 2.3 pets, a car that is at least five years old, and likes to watch auto racing more than golf.

On-Line profiles are a wonderful thing aren't they? Some of them seriously ask you your shoe size. Others want to know if you enjoy using hard rock mining equipment as a sexual aid. Do you fly fish for sharks? Are you now or have you ever been an Eskimo?

There are profiles for singles. Profiles for comedians. Click here and fill this out if you consider yourself a reincarnated Sumerian warlord. Have you ever seen a UFO? Which College did you attend? Which Fraternity or Sorority did you get thrown out of? Rate yourself as a lover... as a cook... as a hazardous material handler.

We can get as specific as you want. Left-handed, red-haired, half-Norwegian, BINGO player, drives a Ford, seeks long term commitment from Japanese Rock Star living in Queens. Must be a non-smoker and only drink on social occasions. No registered Libertarians need apply.

Gotta love profiles.

There it is! Hmmm.... OK, so it does need updated. Nobody that's actually met the Desk is going to believe the line about 'Former Mr. Olympia' and the part about the Burmese Royal Family is stretching it a bit. But the Email listed does work and the Web Site is still up and working. At least for this week.

But the question about which address the IFT has in its Command Files is up in the air. And the Desk has no way to check. And as to which one the RAVEN has, well, honestly, the Desk thinks it has several, and one of them hasn't worked in about five years. It was the Desk's Original Account on the old Playpen BBS. The board was unplugged several years ago, it doesn't exist. In fact, its ISP has been bought and sold about three times since then as well. Try to explain that to Network Solutions. The registering Email address the Desk used for its Website was a PPBBS address. The Internet People can't get it through their heads or their paperwork that an email sent to the PPBBS address can't be answered to confirm the change, because it ain't there no more!

Maybe the IFT will be a little bit easier to deal with than Internic and Co. Just drop them a line... 'Dear Sirs, Please update my email to the above. And while you're at it, don't sell it to the SPAMMERS for fun and profit.' Perhaps a word at the next convention... "Hey! You! Admiral in Charge of the Books! Yeah! You! Change my email!" Maybe the next time my registration lapses the Desk could reup and put down the right one.

Or just forget the whole thing and see if they notice.