Deidre wanted to know if the Desk was really a Redneck.

         Well... Almost.

•   The Desk has never carried a bucket of paint up a water tower to defend somebody's sister's honor. But it did go up the side of a grain elevator with one.

•   It has Never cut the grass in its yard and found a car. But it did run into a riding lawnmower it had forgotten about.

•   Mr. Foxworthy has a bit about a 'crime scene on your front porch'. Well, the Desk didn't have one At its front door.... it was about halfway down the driveway.

•   The Desk is NOT an expert on worm beds... it gave up after an ice storm killed them all.

•   And it has never lived someplace where directions to the house included 'turn off the paved road', but it has plenty of relatives that have, and some still do.

•   Not only has the Desk BBQ'ed SPAM on a grill, it has also done Vienna Sausages and bologna.

•   It always knows what color its vehicle is. But it was surprised one time when after a tropical storm went through it pointed out that its truck was about four shades lighter than it thought it was.

•   The Desk does not use car keys to clean out its ears, it prefers ballpoint pen tops.

•   It never went to a family reunion to meet women. But it did have a reunion ruin a perfectly good relationship because we found out that we actually were related. Some sort of third cousins or other.

•   The Desk has also Never used a garbage bag to put over a broken car window. Plywood doesn't flap in the wind.

•   The Desk does NOT have an 8-track player in any vehicle, but it does have a working one in the shop and owns TWO working 8 track cassettes!

•   But it HAS used a fishing/hunting license as a Second Form of ID to cash a check!

•   It has not only left outside Christmas lights up all year. It left them up for Three Years and only took them down when it cut down the tree.

•   Its boat has moved recently... well... during the First Bush Presidency.

•   It never had a gun rack on its bicycle. But it did have a mount for fishing poles at one time.

•   While the tires on its cars/trucks/vans have all usually been the same size, they may be from as many as five different manufacturers (counting the spare) and some may be retreads.

•   And Yes it has stolen toilet paper from a public restroom. But only in dire need.

... BUT ...

•   Has never read The Metaphysics of Saint Thomas Aquinas.

•    Doesn't act as their own Webmaster rewriting everything into HTML without using a WYSIWYG editor.

•    Wouldn't be caught dead ordering Sushi, let alone enjoying it.

•    Wouldn't rather watch figure skating than professional wrestling, but gets so upset with the scoring by the judges he gives up and watches cartoons.

•    Has never been to an exhibit of Imperial Russian Art, and acted as tour guide explaining who and what Rasputin was.

•    Wouldn't be caught dead reading the Arab World News website for insight into the Taliban and their allies.

•    Might not be real upset that their application to graduate school as doctoral candidate in Comparative Theology was turned down.

      So... Deirdre... Maybe... Just Maybe... The Desk is a Little Bit Redneck...

         Now... how about you?

Selah