From the Equal Time Division

Better Blond Man Jokes

From the Gray-Haired Media Desk

• How do you know if a blond man has been on your word processor?
          All the keys on the keyboard have lower case letters written on them.

• What were the bungee jumping blond man's last words?
           "I always tie the cord that way."

• Why did the blond man miss his flight?
          He was just getting to the airport, so he went to Arrivals.
  Why did the blond man miss his second flight?
          He was sure Gate C-3 was after gate B-2 which should have been after A-1.
  Why did the blond man get arrested by Airport Security?
          The sign said 'Declare All Valuables' so he showed the officer the Family Jewels.

• Why were there no great blond male gunfighters in the old west?
          They went broke having to buy a new gun after every six shots

• How do you kill a blond man?
          Tell him to read the bumper sticker on the front of a truck.

• How do you confuse a blond man?
          Tell him to alphabetically sort Social Security Numbers.

• Why couldn't the blond man go on a coffee break?
          They didn't have Double Mocha Latte Decaf with Almond Essence in the vending machine.

• Why did the blond man get thrown out of the truck stop?
          He ordered a Double Mocha Latte Decaf with Almond Essence.

• Why did the blond man drown?
          The sign said 'NO SWIMMING'.

• Why did the coat room girl sue the blond man?
          Well, his car's dashboard said, 'CHECK ENGINE' when he was driving to the restaurant, so he tried to.
  Why did the blond man argue with the maitre de?
          The waiter said, 'Are you dining alone tonight sir?' and dozens of other people were already there.

• Why did the blond man move?
          He heard on the news that a home invasion crime may happen where you live.

• How does a blond man find his glasses?
          He puts in his contacts.
  Why can't the blond man see now?
          He put on his glasses.

• How did the blond man get a date?
          He showed up at a blond woman's apartment, flowers in hand, and apologized for being late for their date, she panicked and ran to get dressed, when she came out, he asked her what her name was, and they went out. .......... sorry, couldn't resist...